Handfasting by Cauldron

I am obsessed by weddings at the moment, which is good because in October I will be getting married in a registry office, followed by a handfasting, what follows is an article I wrote a while ago, before I knew I was getting married, hope you like it

Handfasting, from a pagans point of view-By Cauldron
Handfasting is a Neo-pagan (modern pagan) form of marriage.
The most well known method of handfasting, is that of a 'year and a day'
A couple will come together and vow their love for each other, after the period of a year and a day, they will deicide to either repeat the handfasting again or go their separate ways.
Another version of handfasting is one where the couple make a commitment to be together for ever, and this couple if they so wish can have a legal ceremony before or after the handfasting.

Many pagans are happier with the ritual of handfasting, this is because many of us, have unconvential relationships, some of us may feel that human beings are simply not designed to be together forever and certainly a lot of pagans would be uncomfortable marrying in a church.

The advantages, of handfasting are clear, in an age when so many marriages end in divorce, to know that after a period of time, one can deicide not to renew the relationship, takes a lot of the pressure off it and in this way can mean that couples stay together longer and if they do separate they will often remain friends.
Also there can be more of a degree of honesty in these relationships, imagine a traditional western relationship, how easy is it to discuss any doubts or problems with ones spouse?
In a pagan marriage the couple can use the year and a day ritual as a springboard to talk about their future and how happy they are.
Another benefit is that it doesn't have to cost a lot of money, the couple can design the day themselves, most couples will also want it outside, some pagan priests (who are male and female) will give their time freely, or for a donation, but because this ritual is binding in spirit and not in law, there is no pressure to have a priest perform it, a good friend could do it, or the couple could simply design the ritual themselves and be their own priests.

Handfastings are as free as nature and as rigid as the couple wish them to be.

Pagans tend to frown on gifts just for the sake of it, we are always aware about the impact that materialism as on the environment (our sacred Mother) so often the couple will just ask for a donation, or they may ask for people to club together and buy them a joint sacred item.
A nice touch is to pass a collection bag around during the day and the money be donated to the couples chosen charity.

Its also important to say that Handfastings can be performed for couple of any sexuality, providing the sexuality is legal and not harming anyone, the pagans gods will not judge!

Thank you Cauldron

Firstly - congratulations on your upcoming wedding and handfasting ceremonies.

This is something I have not heard of before - but what a beautiful way of celebrating a couples love for each other.

Will you be having a 'forever' handfasting or do you plan to renew every year and a day?

Would love to know of your plans for the day and keep us up dated on how things are going - how long until the big day?

Blessed be

Helenxx

I will be getting married on october 31st this year, its a legal civil partnership, we are both male, so that is the same as getting married and will be forever after that we will be handfasting and will renew our vows in this respect every year and a day.
the civil partnership is in the eyes of the law then it will be the handfasting which is in the eyes of the goddess

That is great you have chosen Samhain for your special day!!!

The ticker is great - you also get a two day anniversary every year, the civil one and then the handfasting ceremony.

Have you got a priest to do your ceremony or are you doing it yourself? Is your partner a witch also/

Hope I am not asking to many questions..

Helen wrote:

That is great you have chosen Samhain for your special day!!!

The ticker is great - you also get a two day anniversary every year, the civil one and then the handfasting ceremony.

Have you got a priest to do your ceremony or are you doing it yourself? Is your partner a witch also/

Hope I am not asking to many questions..

you can ask as many questions as you like, my long term best friend who is a druid will be my priest for the handfasting

Thank you,

I would love to see photos of your special day - if youd be happy to share them.

must be getting excited now, with two ceremonies to planyou must be very busy too!

happy to share them??
try and stop me!

Thanks for sharing that info cauldron, I am a couple of years off getting married myself and my other half has agreed to let me have a hand fasting for the ceremony. I to have chosen 31st Oct/1st Nov as it is Beltane for me in Australia

many blessings for your day, I'll let people know what we actually did for the handfasting afterwards

this is interesting indeed peter, i hadnt heard of this ritual either but it does seem kind of sweet, keep us posted hun xxx

NOT LONG NOW, you must be very busy with arrangements at the moment. So just a quick note to say you are in my thoughts xx

aww thanks Helen, its all coming together really well
I'm very excited!

Hi guys,

I just wanted to add to this because I am getting Handfasted next year.

However we are travelling to Scotland where it is possible to have a legal Handfasting. In Scotland a Pagan Celebrant can be registered and conduct a Handfasting ceremony which is legally binding.

We are getting married at Caig Waterfall and Witches pool, I can't wait!

Oh wow

That sounds amazing, will you keep us up to date on your preparations?

Helen wrote:

Oh wow

That sounds amazing, will you keep us up to date on your preparations?

I hope your wedding is every bit as magical as mine

I will definitely keep you all updated. In fact you will probably be very bored of it by the time it comes around lol.

you sound just like me!

Cauldron wrote:

you sound just like me!

Haha, but when I first met you online you only had a month or so to your wedding. You guys are gonna have to put up with this for over a year from me

I don't think anyone will mind in the slightest

I look forward to it - you can see what cauldron put us through (only kidding)

It is a really exciting time for you, and I am glad we can share that.

people that are getting married and will be parents are free to go on as much as they want as far as I'm concerned

I agree 100%

It is the best time of your life - you need to enjoy every second before and during the day!!

mind you I haven't got any excuse to be an attention seeker but it doesn't stop me!

I didn't know handfastings were legal ceremonies in Scotland, how cool is that?!